Bud, the Montana Cowboy

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Bawl Mouth
Bawl Mouth
Posts: 382
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:29 pm
Location: Virginia
Location: Virginia

Bud, the Montana Cowboy

Postby bearsnva » Wed Feb 14, 2018 1:28 pm

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new 2018 BMW advanced toward him out of a
cloud of dust. The driver, a young man named Cliff in a Brioni® suit, Gucci®
shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the
cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully
grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects
it to his Apple iPhone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he
calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds
to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports
it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Apple iPad® that the image has
been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database
through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Galaxy S5®
and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized
HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586
cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know sh*t about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep."

"Now give me back my dog."
Silent Mouth
Silent Mouth
Posts: 43
Joined: Thu Mar 28, 2019 12:54 pm
Location: US

Re: Bud, the Montana Cowboy

Postby sarah.k10 » Thu Mar 28, 2019 1:07 pm

See the world's smallest dog even you can't believe how small he is

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