WOMEN VS HUNTING

[SKYHIGHBLUES]

first off I know this isn't everyones case, maybe any women on here can lend some advice.

my recently new wife has gone against everything I have worked for in my hunting career,
she used to be into but now its on and off she hates it then likes it. she wasn't into it till we had been together for awhile, hell we wouldn't even be together today if I would have never taken her to a field trial for a weekend.

all forms of hunting I catch hell for, opening day of archery deer, I shot one made a bad shot few inches behind lungs, well I spent most of the afternnon looking for it and get home catch hell for being gone so long and she takes of for a few hours, last weekend was supposed to take the dogs out all weekend, when it came to loading the box up, "ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THOSE DAM DOGS AND HUNTING, what about your family?' my response wasn't appreciated. and she threatened to leave if I went.

well anyother relationship I would have loaded up and hit the road, but seeing as we have a 6 month old together, I sucked it up as much as I felt I shouldn't have and closed the garage. sat on the couch for the rest of the evening not a word spoke between us.

any advice? similar problems? potential solutions? besides giving one or the other up?

sorry in advance, just would like some advice and to vent a tich

[Olmuleskinner]

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[david]

Your title could have been "women vs race cars"
Or "women vs rodeo" or "women vs high finance" or "women vs Olympic sports participation" or "women against live musicians" or "women against beer drinkers"

It doesn't matter what your passion is. If your Woman perceives that you give more time and thought to it than you do to her, it is just another woman in her eyes.

Often your passion is what attracted her in the first place. But she always imagined such intense passion directed toward her. And that is what she is waiting for.

The following will sound cheesy I am sure, but it is easy to understand, and very true.

Every relationship has a love bank. When you make a sacrifice for her, you mak a deposit. When you do something for yourself, or force her to make a sacrifice for you, it is a withdrawal.

You could place a value on each transaction based on the amount of sacrifice perceived by her.

Your deposits must be more than your withdrawals or your marriage is on borrowed time. She might tell you everything is fine. But everything is not fine, and you better balance the account or you will loose her.

I promise.

[floridacathunter]

No intention to make light of a serious situation ,hope it works out for you and yours. I heard a story about a couple newly weds. The bride told her new husband, now that you are married you can plan on getting rid of all those smelly old dogs and the tracking collars, and the guns, and while your at it those fishing rods and that boat can go too. The husband replied, " you sound just like my ex wife". What! Exclaimed the new bride, you never told me you were married before!! The husband calmly replied, I was'nt. Learning to love what we dislike about each other, helps us to tolerate differences. Good luck and God bless.

[Bon Plott]

It's possible it could get easier when your child is big enough to be part of your activities but.....Haven't really got THE Answer keep your cool and heed what David expressed.
Not really related but a buddy once said about his checking account. I put it in teaspoons she takes it out with a grain shovel

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[1bludawg]

Serious houndmen probably shouldn't get married but i've seen a few good women who could tolerate their husbands obsession with hounds and hunting.Women like that are extremely hard to find.
Most women don't enjoy being home alone while their husband is out hunting and you can't really blame them.
Most marriages end in divorce and sometimes the hounds are just an excuse for them to leave,if it wasn't the hounds it would be something else.
Hopefully it works out but in any event you'll find out soon.

[ethertonee]

So maybe try this, it is what I did when the kids were little. Focus a little more on shorter hunts in the morning or hunting at night after the kid and wife are tiered and ready for bed, yes you sacrifice some sleep but hell we will get to do a lot of that when we are dead. Yes it is not the all day long trips that we are used to, but it helps to keep a balance. If at all possible let her know if you are running late. I had to get a cell phone once I had kids to be gotten a hold of and so she could get a hold of me. Then when the kids are big enough to go you may have some areas that are not all day trips lined up to get them into it. If you get them into it then it is a lot harder for the war department to go into battle to say no with 2 or 3 of you not in a good mood when she says no. Also set one night at least once a month and get a sitter for her and you to go out. You put it on the calendar and line up the sitter. It sucks and is not what guys think about but it makes a world of difference. Kind of on the line David was talking about try and let her get out on her own about as often as you do even if she is just going to the store or to get her hair done. Oh and buy the way if no one told you the first 8 months after they have the kid is 10 times worse then when they were pregnant as the hormones are twice as messed up trying to balance back out. Hell i used to piss her off on purpose during that time just to know why i was getting yelled at. Stick in their is the best thing ever. You just have to communicate which unless guys are talking about sports or hunting we are not very good at it.

Good luck

[Pwilson]

Remember there's others out there that would die to go hunting with u I had to learn that the hard way and I finally did


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[pegleg]

Its a age old question. But breaks down one of four ways usually. She's insecure so it matters not whether its hounds or whatever she 'll have isues with it. One of you isn't trustworthy. You really do enjoy each others company enough to do things with each other and share these chosen activities. Or you really do focus to Damn much on hounds.(yourself) and rarely there's something else going on that needs addresses but hounds etc. Make a good scapegoat.
Try looking at it from her perspective for awhile and see how it looks this doesn't mean logically that won't get you very far. Its like spending $200 at the hair salon. I can't figure it out no matter how I try. So I dont try I just accept its important and makes sense to her. And a new baby is a adjustment for everyone.its pretty hard to balance future father time against current mother time for first time parents. Changing diapers and feeding and bathing seems like a 24 hour job at that age. But regulating teen outburst seems like a 24 hour job to. Couples have to find what works for them not someone else or just one of them or them seperately. But works for both of you together. Good luck

[Yocham30]

My wife was the same way for the first 2 years we were married. After that she gave in and figured it was easier to let me be happy then to be all mad. I was going to do what i wanted to anyway. Hang in there it will probley get better

[brian j cerelli]

Great advise was already given, but i would chime in and say gradually start going out again. thats what i did, i started hunting right about the time she was going to bed after the little ones are asleep. Or i would go out real early and be home by noon. or you could compromise and go one day, and spend the other with the family. i run year round, so you might end up being out in a rain storm, or on a hot dry day, but if it keeps her happy, then that might be what you need to do. it takes years for the little ones to get big enough to really go along(if they ever even take to it). but it gets a little easier.

I still at times ask my wife if there is anything she wants to do those days off work we have together, and after i get those plans squared away, i figure out what i can do for hunting. I can say that you need to learn how to be awake a lot! some times not sleeping more then a few hours.... if any.

It seems most women dont have a passion for a hobby the way men do, and if they do, its not normally hounds. If she understands what hounds mean to you, then she might be able to compromise enough that you can make it work. Good luck!

[awhoundsandguideserv]

It goes both ways trust me. When I first started dating a guy he had a hound and was going hunting with a friend of his as much as he could. Everytime he came up we would go do stuff with the dogs and it was great. Well apparently then he realized how much work the dogs were and got rid of his dog (even though I told him I would take him and he could still hunt with the dog) Nope. Well 5 years later and living together for almost 3 years I can't take it anymore. Hearing him say horrible things about my friends and my dogs and me and even my job and family. Enough. He started in late one night and I told him if he said another word he better leave. He started in, I told him get out. Never been happier. I refuse to choose a man over my dogs. Plain and simple. I may end up dying single because of it, but I would rather die happy with my dogs then miserable with some idiot. It's hard enough being a female with hounds, much less trying to be with someone who does nothing to support your dreams with the dogs.

I've learned more in the last year about life and relationships then I have my whole life, which isn't very long being as I am only 25 but still. Depending on what you believe it may be different but this is how I see it. We only get this one life, why be anything but happy? I am not saying its all cupcakes and unicorns but if youre in a toxic relationship, like I was, get out. Or sit and write it all out and decide what is more important to you. If it is her then sell the dogs and focus on her. If it's the dogs break up with her and go hunting. Only you can make that decision. This guy I am talking about was like a father figure to my daughter. She was 2 when we started dating, and she is now turning 8 next month. If I had known sooner that he was going to act like he did, I would have never started the relationship. And maybe I should have paid attention to the signs sooner.

I hope it all works out for you.

I think a serious talk is the first thing that needs to happen. As a female I know that we want attention. We want to be special. We want to be included. And sometimes we want a change, like instead of always going to Pizza Hut for Date Night we want Subway type thing. We want effort. I don't think anyone should ever give up their passion for someone else, but maybe skip a night with the dogs to take her out type thing. If that doesn't work then, being as I know how we ladies work, she doesn't want the relationship to work and it's best to run. If that little bit of effort changes things, then she will start to be more accepting on it.

But a sit down serious talk where you both civily TALK about the root of the issue, which I doubt is the dogs, maybe you will be able to both understand the other person better. Females like covering problems and making it seem like it another. Men are not mind readers, and women think they are. That's where a huge problem comes in. If you can find what the true issue is, you can better fix it. It may be simple and it may be complex. All I can say is may the force be with you and good luck.

-Nikki

[dwalton]

Guys I hope you read and reread what Nikki has wrote. Thanks Nikki I wish I was 40 years younger??? Dewey

[mark]

Bahahahahahaha........ you ol pervert lmao

[awhoundsandguideserv]

Haha thanks Dewey. I could start a whole forum on Men VS Hounds too. Maybe Buddy can do that for me, give me my own spot on here. One thing I've also learned through all this is I can't be around a guy that hates dogs, don't like horses or mules, or asks me why I want to do what makes me happy. Oh well. Maybe someday I will find a 30 year old Clint Eastwood type. Lol