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Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 2:56 pm
by Big N' Blue
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the
area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.


The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg ,Germany .


Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.


He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for theU.S. Government", says Bud.


"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and
you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep. ..
Now give me back my dog.

Re: Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 5:41 pm
by Majestic Tree Hound
OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!! lol

Re: Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:47 pm
by Shorty
Damn David you come up with some good ones. Been getting some rain over here. You about ready to make a round or two?

Re: Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:16 pm
by Big N' Blue
Shorty, let me know when! I am going to get ready for my trip about the 13'th of Dec. and hopefully set up camp by the 15'th or 16'th or 17'th. depending on the weather.
Would love to come down to your place before I go to give these terdhounds a little excercise. LOL Let me know!!

Re: Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 9:50 am
by Shorty
Hell David your the one with a day job, you just let me know if it works for you. I'm not sure when Phil's hunters are going to be here. Figure out a good time and I'll let you know if it works for us.

Re: Cowboy and the Yuppie

Posted: Tue Nov 24, 2009 12:41 pm
by Big N' Blue
I was looking at the callendar and I am running out of weekends to get my crap togeather. With Russell not going with me I have to do it all and my wife has told me to do a little at a time insread of waiting till the las minute like I always do! LOL
How is your pup doing?