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Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired
> of
> it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said "Since
> Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnny what he wants Santa to
> bring
> him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of
> dog
> poop in place of the gifts he requests." Two days before Christmas,
> Johnny's father asked him what he wanted for Christmas.
>
> "I want a damn teddy-bear laying right beside me when I wake up.
> When I
> go downstairs I want to see a damn train going around the damn
> tree. And
> when I go outside I want to see a damn bike leaning up against the
> damn
> garage."
>
> Christmas morning, Little Johnny rolled over into a pile of dog poop.
> Confused, he walked downstairs and saw another pile under the tree.
> Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog
> poop by
> the garage. When Johnny walked back inside with a curious look on his
> face, his Dad smiled and asked, "What did Santa bring you this year?"
>
> Johnny replied, "I think I got a dog but I can't find the son-of-a-
> bitch."
>

Perfect! I'll bet I get a f*&^%g dog too!

Once again, you made my day, at least until some s.o.b. f*&^%s it up ( )

Now I know I'm getting a dog

Another Little Johnny !!!!

It's near the Christmas break at the end of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.



Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."



Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."



Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"



Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."



Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."



Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.



Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"



Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."



Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."



Johnny is even madder than before.



Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"



Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."



Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."



Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.



When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"



The teacher turns around: "WHO SAID THAT?!"





Johnny: "TIGER WOODS....can I leave now?"