Preaching to a Bear
Posted: Sat May 05, 2012 12:00 pm
A catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as
> Chaplains to
> the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
> Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three
> times a week for
> coffee and to talk shop.
>
>
> One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
> really all
> that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
> another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into
> the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their
> religion.
>
> Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
>
>
> Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
> various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
>
>
> "Well, " he said, "I went into the woods to fine me a bear. And
> when I found
> him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
> nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly
> grabbed my
> holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he
> became as gentle
> as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his
> first communion
> and confirmation."
>
> Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
> arm and both
> legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory,
> he exclaimed, "Well, brother, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I
> went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my
> bear from God's HOLY WORD!
> But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So, I took HOLD of
> him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
> another and DOWN
> another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
> hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a
> lamb. We spent
> the rest of the day praising Jesus. HALLELUJAH!
>
>
> The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who
> was lying i n
> a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
> running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
>
>
> The Rabbi looked up and said: " Looking back on it,....
> circumcision may not
> have been the best way to start.
> Chaplains to
> the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper
> Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three
> times a week for
> coffee and to talk shop.
>
>
> One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
> really all
> that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to
> another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into
> the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their
> religion.
>
> Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
>
>
> Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had
> various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
>
>
> "Well, " he said, "I went into the woods to fine me a bear. And
> when I found
> him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted
> nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So, I quickly
> grabbed my
> holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he
> became as gentle
> as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him his
> first communion
> and confirmation."
>
> Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one
> arm and both
> legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory,
> he exclaimed, "Well, brother, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I
> went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my
> bear from God's HOLY WORD!
> But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So, I took HOLD of
> him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP
> another and DOWN
> another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
> hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a
> lamb. We spent
> the rest of the day praising Jesus. HALLELUJAH!
>
>
> The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who
> was lying i n
> a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors
> running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
>
>
> The Rabbi looked up and said: " Looking back on it,....
> circumcision may not
> have been the best way to start.
