Little Tony
Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2016 12:48 pm
>
> LITTLE
>
> TONY ON MATH
>
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting
> on a
> fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She
> calls on little
> TONY.
>
> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> first
> gunshot."
>
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> like
> you’re thinking."
>
> Then little TONY says, "I have a question for
> YOU.
>
> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
>
> One is
> delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
> cream.
>
> The second
> is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
>
> The third is biting off
> the top of the ice cream.
>
> Which one is married?"
>
> The teacher,
> blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> one
> that's gobbled down
> the top and sucked the cone."
>
> To which Little TONY replied, "The correct
> answer is the one with the
> wedding ring on," but I like you’re
> thinking."
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON MATH
>
> Little TONY returns from
> school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>
> "Why?" asks the
> father?
>
> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I
> said "6", replies
> TONY.
>
> "But that's right!" says his dad.
>
> "Yeah, but then she asked
> me "How much is 3x2? "
>
> "What's the (beep) difference?" asks the
> father.
>
> "That's what I said!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON
> ENGLISH
>
> Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says,
> "Today we are
> going to
> learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> example of
> a
> multi-syllable word?"
>
> TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
>
> Miss Rogers
> smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a
> mouthful."
>
> Little TONY says,
> "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a " blow-
> job."
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY
> ON GRAMMAR
>
> Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
>
> All of a
> sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,
> "Miss
> Jones, I need
> to take a piss!!"
>
> The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper
> word to use in
> this situation..
>
> The correct word you want to use is
> 'urinate.'
>
> Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence
> correctly, and I
> will
> allow you to go."
>
> Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says,
> "You're an eight, but if
> you had bigger tits, you'd be a
> TEN!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
>
> One day, during lessons on
> proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
> of hands from those who could
> use the word "beautiful" in the same
> sentence twice.
>
> First, she
> called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
> bought
> my mother a
> beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>
> "Very good, Suzie,"
> replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
>
> "My mommy planned
> a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
>
> She said, "Excellent,
> Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little TONY. "Last night at
> the dinner table, my sister told my father
> that she was pregnant, and he
> said 'Beautiful, just (beep) beautiful!'"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON GETTING
> OLDER
>
> Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one
> candy bar
> after
> another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
> him said,
>
> "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for
> you. It will give
>
> you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>
> Little TONY replied, "My
> grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
>
> The man asked, "Did your
> grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
>
> Little TONY answered, "No, he
> minded his own (beep) business !
>
>
>
> I LOVE Little Tony
> ...
>
>
> LITTLE
>
> TONY ON MATH
>
> A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting
> on a
> fence and
> you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She
> calls on little
> TONY.
>
> He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the
> first
> gunshot."
>
> The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I
> like
> you’re thinking."
>
> Then little TONY says, "I have a question for
> YOU.
>
> There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream:
>
> One is
> delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice
> cream.
>
> The second
> is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
>
> The third is biting off
> the top of the ice cream.
>
> Which one is married?"
>
> The teacher,
> blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the
> one
> that's gobbled down
> the top and sucked the cone."
>
> To which Little TONY replied, "The correct
> answer is the one with the
> wedding ring on," but I like you’re
> thinking."
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON MATH
>
> Little TONY returns from
> school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
>
> "Why?" asks the
> father?
>
> "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,'" I
> said "6", replies
> TONY.
>
> "But that's right!" says his dad.
>
> "Yeah, but then she asked
> me "How much is 3x2? "
>
> "What's the (beep) difference?" asks the
> father.
>
> "That's what I said!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON
> ENGLISH
>
> Little TONY goes to school, and the teacher says,
> "Today we are
> going to
> learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an
> example of
> a
> multi-syllable word?"
>
> TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."
>
> Miss Rogers
> smiles and says, "Wow, little TONY, that's a
> mouthful."
>
> Little TONY says,
> "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a " blow-
> job."
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY
> ON GRAMMAR
>
> Little TONY was sitting in class one day.
>
> All of a
> sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out,
> "Miss
> Jones, I need
> to take a piss!!"
>
> The teacher replied, 'Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper
> word to use in
> this situation..
>
> The correct word you want to use is
> 'urinate.'
>
> Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence
> correctly, and I
> will
> allow you to go."
>
> Little TONY, thinks for a bit, and then says,
> "You're an eight, but if
> you had bigger tits, you'd be a
> TEN!"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON GRAMMAR
>
> One day, during lessons on
> proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
> of hands from those who could
> use the word "beautiful" in the same
> sentence twice.
>
> First, she
> called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father
> bought
> my mother a
> beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
>
> "Very good, Suzie,"
> replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
>
> "My mommy planned
> a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
>
> She said, "Excellent,
> Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on
> little TONY. "Last night at
> the dinner table, my sister told my father
> that she was pregnant, and he
> said 'Beautiful, just (beep) beautiful!'"
>
>
>
> LITTLE TONY ON GETTING
> OLDER
>
> Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one
> candy bar
> after
> another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from
> him said,
>
> "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for
> you. It will give
>
> you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
>
> Little TONY replied, "My
> grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
>
> The man asked, "Did your
> grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
>
> Little TONY answered, "No, he
> minded his own (beep) business !
>
>
>
> I LOVE Little Tony
> ...
>
>