When Insults Had Class.
Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2016 1:28 pm
When Insults Had Class...and subtlety
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." -Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." -Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there
is one." -Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" -Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support
rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't
it." -Groucho Marx
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the
gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli,"whether I embrace your policies or
your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." -Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure." -Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." -Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." -Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." -Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend, if you have one." -George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second . . . if there
is one." -Winston Churchill, in response
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." -Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." -Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" -Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts . . . for support
rather than illumination." -Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't
it." -Groucho Marx