Marriage definition
Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:39 pm
>
> MARRIAGE Definition: the social
> institution under which a man and woman(in love) establish
> their decision to live as husband and wife by
> legalcommitments, religious ceremonies, etc., and live
> happily ever
>
> after...or...
>
> Fact or fiction (you make the call):
>
> 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again,
> are thunder and lightning.
>
> 2. After marriage, husband and wife becomes
> two sides of a coin...they
>
> can't face each other, but, they still stay together.
>
> 3. Married life is very frustrating.
> In the first year of marriage, the man
> speaks and the woman listens.
>
> In the second year, the woman speaks
> and the man listens.
> In the third year, they both speak and
> the neighbours listen.
>
> 4. When a man opens the door of his car for
> his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car
> is new or the wife is.
>
>
> 5. Marriage is when a man and
> woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try
> to decide which one.
>
> 6. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all
> night thinking about something she says. After marriage, he
> will fall asleep before she finishes talking.
>
>
> 7. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
> understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law
> allows only one wife.
>
> 8. They say when a man holds a woman's
> hand before marriage, that is LOVE. After marriage,
> that is SELF DEFENSE..
>
>
> 9. A wife becomes a "SEX OBJECT"
> when every time the husband asks for sex, she objects.
>
> 10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep
> with the enemy.
>
> 11. There are two four-letter words that
> are offensive to men in marriage - "don't" and
> "stop", unless, they are used together.
>
>
> 12. Marriage is an institution where the man loses
> his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her
> Master's Degree.
>
> 13. In marriage, a man can have words with his wife,
> but, a woman can have paragraphs with her husband.
>
>
> 14. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore,
> marriage is an institution for the blind.
>
> 15. There are 3 stages of SEX in a married life:
> Tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.
>
> 16. LOVE is a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm
> clock.
>
>
> 17.. When a newly married man looks happy, we know
> why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder
> why.
>
> 18. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence ... a
> LIFE SENTENCE.
>
> Testimonials:
>
>
> A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife
> leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
> The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over
> too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was
> stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff
> really Works!"
>
>
>
> Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China , a man
> doesn't know his wife until he marries her!
> Dad: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!!!
>
> Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room
> and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative
> state, dependent on some machine and fluid from a bottle. If
> that ever happens, just pull the plug'. She got
> up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer! She is
> such a bitch!
>
>
>
> The great question.... which I have not been able to
> answer... is, what does a woman want? -Sigmund Freud
>
> "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
> take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
> candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes
> Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman
>
>
> "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for
> two years." - Sam Kinison
>
> "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
> faster than electronic banking.
> It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran
>
>
> "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first
> one left me, and the second one didn't." -
> Patrick Murray
>
> A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
> wrong. - Milton Berle
>
>
> My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met. -
> Rodney Dangerfield
>
>
>
> Send this to the men who need a good laugh ...
> and to women with a good sense of
> humor.
Thank you, and have a great day!
> MARRIAGE Definition: the social
> institution under which a man and woman(in love) establish
> their decision to live as husband and wife by
> legalcommitments, religious ceremonies, etc., and live
> happily ever
>
> after...or...
>
> Fact or fiction (you make the call):
>
> 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again,
> are thunder and lightning.
>
> 2. After marriage, husband and wife becomes
> two sides of a coin...they
>
> can't face each other, but, they still stay together.
>
> 3. Married life is very frustrating.
> In the first year of marriage, the man
> speaks and the woman listens.
>
> In the second year, the woman speaks
> and the man listens.
> In the third year, they both speak and
> the neighbours listen.
>
> 4. When a man opens the door of his car for
> his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car
> is new or the wife is.
>
>
> 5. Marriage is when a man and
> woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try
> to decide which one.
>
> 6. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all
> night thinking about something she says. After marriage, he
> will fall asleep before she finishes talking.
>
>
> 7. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful,
> understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law
> allows only one wife.
>
> 8. They say when a man holds a woman's
> hand before marriage, that is LOVE. After marriage,
> that is SELF DEFENSE..
>
>
> 9. A wife becomes a "SEX OBJECT"
> when every time the husband asks for sex, she objects.
>
> 10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep
> with the enemy.
>
> 11. There are two four-letter words that
> are offensive to men in marriage - "don't" and
> "stop", unless, they are used together.
>
>
> 12. Marriage is an institution where the man loses
> his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her
> Master's Degree.
>
> 13. In marriage, a man can have words with his wife,
> but, a woman can have paragraphs with her husband.
>
>
> 14. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore,
> marriage is an institution for the blind.
>
> 15. There are 3 stages of SEX in a married life:
> Tri-weekly, try weekly and try weakly.
>
> 16. LOVE is a long sweet dream; MARRIAGE is the alarm
> clock.
>
>
> 17.. When a newly married man looks happy, we know
> why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder
> why.
>
> 18. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence ... a
> LIFE SENTENCE.
>
> Testimonials:
>
>
> A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife
> leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
> The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over
> too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was
> stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff
> really Works!"
>
>
>
> Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China , a man
> doesn't know his wife until he marries her!
> Dad: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!!!
>
> Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room
> and I said to her, 'I never want to live in a vegetative
> state, dependent on some machine and fluid from a bottle. If
> that ever happens, just pull the plug'. She got
> up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my beer! She is
> such a bitch!
>
>
>
> The great question.... which I have not been able to
> answer... is, what does a woman want? -Sigmund Freud
>
> "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We
> take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little
> candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes
> Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - Henry Youngman
>
>
> "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for
> two years." - Sam Kinison
>
> "There's a way of transferring funds that is even
> faster than electronic banking.
> It's called marriage." - James Holt McGavran
>
>
> "I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first
> one left me, and the second one didn't." -
> Patrick Murray
>
> A good wife always forgives her husband when she's
> wrong. - Milton Berle
>
>
> My wife and I were very happy for twenty years. Then we met. -
> Rodney Dangerfield
>
>
>
> Send this to the men who need a good laugh ...
> and to women with a good sense of
> humor.
Thank you, and have a great day!