The older we get

[Big N' Blue]

> ONE
>
>
> Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
> have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
>
> I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
>
> 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
>
> 'You don't?' I replied.
>
> 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
>
> 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
>
> 'That's right.'
>
> So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
>
> (Unbelievable but sadly true...)
>
> TWO
>
> I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up
> one of those
> 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between
> our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
>
> After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
> 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
>
> Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
> is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
>
> She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
>
> She had no clue to what had just happened.
>
> THREE
>
> A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
> pulling it out very quickly.
>
> When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on
> the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was
> using the
> ATM 'thingy.'
>
> (keep shuddering!!)
>
> FOUR
>
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
> 'Do you need some help?' I asked.
>
> She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote
> door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
> (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
> this?'
>
> 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
>
> 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car
> keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I
> replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the
> batteries. It's a long walk....'
>
> PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
>
>
> FIVE
>
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
> she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of
> typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier',
> the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining
> blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make
> five 'blank' copies.
>
> Brunette, by the way!!
>
> SIX
>
> A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to
> take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The
> dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be
> fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......'
>
> Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
>
> Life is tough.
> It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!
>
> Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it
> is all true...
>
> Perks of reaching
> 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
>
>
> 01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
>
> 02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
>
> 03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
>
> 04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
>
> 05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
>
> 06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
>
> 07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
>
> 08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
>
> 09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
>
> 10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
>
> 11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
>
> 12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
>
> 13. You sing along with elevator music.
>
> 14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
>
> 15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
>
> 16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
> service.
>
> 17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't
> remember them either.
>
> 18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
>
> 19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
>
> 20. And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
>
> Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
>
>
> Never, under any circumstances,
> take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
>
>

[Powder River Walker]

This past summer I was at a gas station needing a bag of ice. I asked the girl working there if they had any she said no they don't carry bags of ice, so I asked if they carried bags of frozen water and she said see wasn't sure but I could check the freezer.

I don't know about people.