Frank Feldman

[Big N' Blue]

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman... he's a guy who did everything right all
the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things
happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have
won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang
like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you
should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special."

Cabbie: "Oh hell there's more”. He had a memory like a computer. He
remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods
to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix
anything---. Not like me -I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks
out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But
Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a
woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she
was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes
highly polished too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to
make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie : "Well... I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married
his freaken wife."