making a baby

[Big N' Blue]

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is
funny.

The Smiths were unable to conceive
children and decided to use
a surrogate father to start their family. On the day
the proxy father
was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and
said, "Well, I'm
off now. The man should be here soon."


Half an hour later, just by chance, a
door-to-door baby
photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping
to make a sale. "Good
morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut
in, embarrassed,
"I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer.
"Well, that's good.
Did you know babies are my specialty?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had
hoped. Please come in
and have a seat".

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well,
where do we start?"


"Leave everything to me. I usually try two
in the bathtub, one
on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
sometimes the living
room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."


"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
didn't work out for
Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a
good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I
shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the
results."

"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to
take his time. I'd
love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure
you'd be
disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith
quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and
pulled out a
portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on
the top of a bus," he
said.

"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed,
grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally
well - when you
consider their mother was so difficult to work
with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take
her to the park to
get the job done right. People were crowding around
four and five deep
to get a good look"

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her
eyes wide with
amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for
more than three
hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and
yelling - I could
hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I
had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had
to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean
they actually chewed
on your, uh...equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're
ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to
rest my Canon on.
It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted

[spazhogdog]

Too funny

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[Pwilson]

Hahahhaha


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[fallriverwalker1]

dang blue wish you wouldn't brag on me like that

[mark]

You talking about the part where you were chewing on his equipment?

[fallriverwalker1]

no //// the part about needing a tri pod to hold it up heck im closer to texas than you //

[Big N' Blue]

no //// the part about needing a tri pod to hold it up heck im closer to texas than you //

Fallingdownwalkers, I know you are still in pain from your knee surgery, but this was a pretty weak response!!! LMAO