OLD WEST HUMOR

[Mike Leonard]

In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more
than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that
there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one
Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who --
in his day -- had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West. The
young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer, bought him a drink and
told him the story of his great ambition. "Do you think you could give me
some tips?" he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said,
"Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too high. Tie the holster a
little lower down on your leg." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?"
asked the young man."Sure will," replied the old-timer.
The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot
the bow tie off the piano player.
"That's terrific!" said the hot shot. "Got any more tips for me?"
"Yep," said the old man. "Cut a notch out of your holster where the
hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the younger man.
"You bet it will," said the old-timer.
The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun
in a blur, then shot a cufflink off the piano player.
"Wow!" exclaimed the cowboy. "I'm learnin' somethin' here. Got any
more tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon.
"See that axle grease over there? Coat your gun with it."
The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease
on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all
over the gun, handle and all."
"Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man.
The Old Timer said,
"No, but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna
shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much if it's all greased!"
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[skyhigh]

Very funny, thanks