Grandpa gambles with the IRS.

[Grzyadms4x4]

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summoned him to the IRS office.
The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his
attorney. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an above-average lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying
that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that
believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Grandpa.
'How about a demonstration? ' The auditor thinks for a moment and
said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says,
'It's a bet.' Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The
auditor's jaw drops. Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand
dollars that I can bite my other eye.'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has
wagered and lost $three grand, with Grandpa's attorney as a witness. He
starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Grandpa asks
'I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of
your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never
get a drop anywhere in between.' The auditor, twice burned, is
cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this
old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains
mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other
side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The
auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss
into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney begins to moan and puts his head in
his hands. 'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney. 'This morning, when my client told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in to your office and pi$$ all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'

Don't Mess with Old People!!

[Big N' Blue]

[DC DOGGIN]

Thats funny.

[Big N' Blue]

Age, experience and a sense of humor definitly has advantage over the over educated!
LOL

[POORBOY]

That is GOOD!!!!!!!

But I think I know Grandpa??????

Grandpa's Girlfriend Goes to the Bank!!!!

A little old lady went into the headquarters of a large national bank one day, dragging a large bag behind her. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk.

The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?"

The old lady replied, "I make bets."

The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?"

The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!"

The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," said the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?"

"Sure!" replied the confident president.

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the old lady, "What the heck's the matter with your lawyer?"

"Nothing," she answered, "Except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00AM today, I'd have the president of this bank's balls in my hand."