Why Teachers DRINK

[Big N' Blue]

The
following questions were set
in last year's GED
examination. These are
genuine answers (from 16
year olds).


Q. Name the four
seasons.
A.. Salt,
pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. How is
dew formed?
A.. The
sun shines down on the leaves
and makes them perspire.

Q. What guarantees
may a mortgage company insist
on?
A.. If you
are buying a house they will
insist that you are well
endowed.

Q. In a
democratic society, how
important are elections?
A.. Very
important. Sex can only happen
when a male gets an election.

Q. What
are steroids?

A.. Things for keeping carpets
still on the stairs ..
(Shoot
yourself now, there is little
hope.)

Q. What
happens to your body as you
age?
A.. When
you get old, so do your bowels
and you get intercontinental.

Q. What
happens to a boy when he
reaches puberty?
A.. He
says goodbye to his boyhood
and looks forward to his
adultery.
(So true.)

Q. Name a
major disease associated with
cigarettes.
A.. Premature
death.

Q. What is
artificial insemination?
A.. When
the farmer does it to the bull
instead of the cow.

Q. How can
you delay milk turning sour?
A.. Keep
it in the cow.
(Simple,
but brilliant.)

Q. How are
the main 20 parts of the body
categorized? (e.g. The
abdomen)
A.. The
body is consisted into 3 parts
-- the brainium, the borax and
the abdominal cavity.
The brainium contains
the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs and the
abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels: A, E, I, O, U.
(wtf!)

Q. What is
the fibula?
A.. A
small lie.

Q. What
does 'varicose' mean?
A.. Nearby.

Q. What is
the most common form of birth
control?
A.. Most
people prevent contraception
by wearing a condominium.
(That
would work.)

Q. Give
the meaning of the term
'Caesarean section.'
A.. The
caesarean section is a
district in Rome .

Q. What is
a seizure?
A.. A
Roman Emperor.
(Julius
Seizure, I came, I saw, I had
a fit.)

Q. What is
a terminal illness?

A.. When you are sick at the
airport.
(Irrefutable.)

Q. What
does the word 'benign' mean?
A.. Benign
is what you will be after you
be eight.
(Brilliant.)


Q. What is a turbine?
A.. Something
an Arab or Shreik wears on his
head. Once an Arab boy
reaches puberty, he removes
his diaper and wraps it around
his head.