funny

[Big N' Blue]

A priest is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you?
The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.
The priest then booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."
"Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can that be?"
"Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. "When you preached people slept.
When he flew, people prayed."
_________________________________________________________________________
President Obama & PM Modi entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, Obama stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, Obama said to Modi " Yo! Man I'm the best thief everrr, I stole 3 chocolates & no one saw me. Beat that !"

Modi replied: "You wanna see something better, let's go back to the shop and I'll show"
So they went to the counter and Modi said to the Shop boy: "Do you wanna see magic?"
Shop boy replied: "Yes."
Modi said: "Give me one chocolate bar." The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it.
Modi then asked for a second and third, and finished those ones too.

The shop boy asked: "But where's the magic?"
Modi replied: "Check in my friend Obama's pockets, and you'll find them."
____________________________________________________________