advice from a retired husband.

[Big N' Blue]

ADVICE FROM A RETIRED HUSBAND:

It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes
harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were
younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive,
and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is Jim. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Terri.
When I retired a few years ago, it became necessary for Terri to get a
full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the
health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed
she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf club about
the same time she gets home from work.

Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for
half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead,
I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the
table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out
is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that
door. She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's
not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening
that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it
does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.
;
Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say
that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her
lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and
offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days.
That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing
lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I
mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She
had to take a break when she was only half-finished mowing the yard. I try not
to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big,
cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long
as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Terri. I'm
not saying that showing this much consideration is easy... Many men will find it
difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how
frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a
little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article,
I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile After all, we are put on
this earth to help each other.

Signed,
Jim

[Buddyw]