Life is tough. .. .. It's tougher if you're stupid.

[Okie]

You Just Can't Fix Stupid!!

ONE
Recently when I went to McDonald's, I saw on the menu that you could have
an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen
nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the
counter.' 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,'
was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order
six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the
lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one
of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it
between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned
all of my items, she picked up the 'divider,' looking it all over for the
bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me,
'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her, 'I've changed my mind, I
don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the
things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and
pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a
credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. ' Do you
need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a
battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?' I
asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the
car keys to me. As I took the key and manually=2 0unlocked the door, I
replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries.
It's a long walk.'

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she
was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing
paper. What do I do?' 'Just use copier machine paper,' the secretary
told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of
paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank'
copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
the whole thing generally looked like an extra in 'Twister.' I asked the
manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the 'cruise
control' and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a
large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
branch banks who had this question: 'I've got smoke coming from the back
of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?'

EIGHT
Police in Radnor , PA interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander
on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The
message 'He's lying' was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy
button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
Believing the 'lie detector' was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911, very worried, asking the dispatcher if she needs to
take her kid to the emergency room--the kid was eating ants. The
dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer..... ' Dispatcher:
'Rush him to the emergency room!'


Life is tough. .. .. It's tougher if you're stupid.

[The Vise]

^^ UNREAL! ^^ The McDonald's one made me think of a one of my own. When I was in school I worked the summer as a roofer. For lunch one day we went to McDonald's and I ordered a #2 value meal and asked for ice water in the drink because I been in the sun all day and was real thirsty. The dude gave me a small plastic water cup since I asked for water but I asked him if I could the biggy size cup I paid for with my meal cuz I needed a lot of water. He told me that he has to give me a water cup because thats the policy if you are getting water. I told him that I paid for the soda but that I just wanted to put ice water in it. It never sank in and I was dang thirsty so I had to ask for the manager to get it handled.

Another great one. Check it out!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJ3Oz5JVKs

[liontracker]

I've got one.
The other day on the radio they played an actual 911 call. The woman in trouble had locked herself in her car. It seems that the doorlock button wasn't working and she was going hysterical. She said it was getting hot in the car and needed rescued. The operator on the other end said, " ma'am, please try to relax and do something for me. Could you reach over to the window and pull up on the doorlock knob with your fingers"? You could have heard a pin drop! Stupid is, as stupid does!